Watching Jason Play Video Games: Sea of Thieves

Me: Are you shooting live cannons at a ghost ship?

Jason: Yes.

Me: Wait, are they cannon shooting Banshees at you?

Jason: Yea, didn’t you hear the screaming as the last one flew by?

Me: But how is this working? It’s a ghost ship. Cannons would go right through it. And who shoots a Banshee? What’s it going to do, yell AHHH, and be annoying on the fly-by?

Jason: It’s just how it works. It’s the first time I’ve come across a banshee, so I’ve never fought one.

Me: It looks like it’s retreating. Why would a ghost ship need to retreat? They’re all dead anyway.

Jason: *Turns wheel of ship furiously* Dammit. This is why I need you to play too. I need someone to pilot the ship while I shoot the damn things otherwise I get too off course.

Me: So they aren’t retreating, you’re just losing.  Is that land ahead of you?

Jason: *blinks*
I’m not losing. I’m taking an evasive maneuver.
GOD DAMMIT.  I ran aground because I didn’t have anyone to drive the ship.

Me: . . . .

Jason: It’s true.

Me: I wish I had a Banshee Cannon.

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