Why I’m Not Allowed to Pick Out Dogs

We adopted a dog who is a rescue. They thought she might be a Chihuahua/Greyhound mix, which makes for an incredibly awkward shaped creature. She is bowlegged, has uneven eyes, terrible breath, a floppy vagina, and appears totally vacant. Jason thinks her head looks like a light bulb. She walks straight into corners with her eyeball, and doesn’t flinch when she has something stuck to her bulbous, googly eyes. It’s unsettling to watch. What’s even more uncomfortable is the fact that they both start to slide out sideways towards the walls so you can never really tell what she’s looking at. I thought she might make a good companion for Henry. Jason says it’s my fault and that I always pick the defective ones.